Fasten your virtual seat-belts, cause it’s going to be a foul-mouthed rant! Jesus, I have been chewing on this subject for way too long. I have officially turned into that cantankerous fuck screaming at kids to “get off my lawn!”. Is it wrong that my retirement savings plan is my swear jar? No cardboard condo in this trucker mouth’s future!
Living in Toronto can kill the old fashioned politeness in just about anyone, including this broad. It hasn’t even been 2 years but walking to and from work almost everyday has given me the right to express my frustration with the utter lack of fucking walking etiquette. So I propose this educational bit to all people:
Our city sidewalks are for everyone, not just you…your helicopter parents lied to you!
Not all people walking on Yong Street are on vacation, many of us are going to work. Make way to faster walkers. Flex hours are a goddamn myth. Please don’t allow your mindless strolling to mess with someone income. Rent in TO is unfucking believable.
The rule is “keep right” seriously, pay attention to the flow of pedestrian traffic. Keeping right allows for the safe travel of multi-direction pedestrians. It really works. You are not a unique and delicate snowflake, follow the fucking flow of traffic. If Drake keeps right, you can to!
To all of you ‘special’ device junkies; I know you have the ability to look up, I know that you still have a modicum of social awareness coursing threw your veins. LOOK THE FUCK UP! If I see one more of you chocolate covered douche canoes walking into the elderly or I pity your sorry ass if you bump into me, I will go medieval on your ass. I am pre-menopausal and am looking for any excuse to throat-punch the rude. In this day of YouTube, someone will capture this embarrassing ass whooping and you will be humiliated.
Do the right thing and keep right.
This public service announcement is in response to the horrible ass maggot who slammed into the lovely little old woman on Yong and Shutter in Toronto Yesterday. You didn’t even stop to see if she was okay! Be kinder, seriously. Look where you are walking. Be a better human. End Rant.